Defining Self-Satifaction

One thing I still remember from my precious stories back in Dubai is, how can you live in with an unsatisfied feeling. Until....death comes. Hahaha that's sound terribly scary but, gotta admit that there's true though.

Well, life has been so kind to me these days but I try to never, ever, ever admit it. Or think about it (even now I'm writing it, it's contradictory-- I know). Because if you do it, or just me maybe, I'll feel satisfied. Cannot do anything else beside thinking how graceful things I already got. And for me once again, that's a stupid thing to do.

When I told this to someone, he said this is not a good thing. Beside of my religion principle which enforce us to always feel satisfy all the time, he said it will pressuring me all the time. Yeah that's obvious, but now when I think about it I feel a little bit horrified. Turns out I want to be pressured- whatever it is- whenever, wherever. Can you imagine how hard is that? Like your soul being sucking up with Dementor (yes, currently I begin to re-read again each Harry Potter series novel- thank you for being there, library).

I was a carefree people, yeah for me, I don't care since that's relative to everyone. But now I can't imagine how I'll spend my days off without my task or laptop. When I looked at my friend, they just easily do something fun without any pressure that that's pointless or doesn't have any result. And me- currently feel- I can't do that. I never find myself in coffee shop for my own leisure time like I always do back before, always accompanied by laptop, or pen, or whatsoever related to my college life. Maybe if my soul came out from my body and see my own self, I'll throw out so easily. Well, now gotta realize that each part of myself never connected. How sad is that.

Still, there's a speculation that my current condition is because I just got out from my midterm week (which is also scary because I'm not feel thrilled. You can say maybe happy-- less happy than before). And pile of tasks still waiting to be done. So it enforces me to go this way. I hope holiday come soon and I'll be able to find what joy and leisure time is.

Tanto tiempo!

The Other Side

I do believe there is Yin and Yang. There are two sides of coin. There'll be a good time and a bad time. Me in my last post seems so....desperate. Hahaha we need time to adapt tho.

Well, today I got paid off. Simply happy with this event, when our seniors had their graduation. And as a junior, we have this obligation to make such a party for them. This time 2012 is on their role!

It was great! The event, the people, everything seems so right at that moment. We laughed, took MANY pictures, dance, sang, ate, everything. My desperate last week seems already paid off. I know I complained much about my friends lately, but one thing sure I know that they are fun. I can forget about my rigid world for seconds, play like a child, laugh like there aren't any obligation (and yes, tomorrow I will debut as an assistant, 8 am).

I hope this story will bring you up when you're down next time, Mitha. Remember that people around you have their own positive and negative side. Accept it because they are human and your friends! Let it flow, they said. If they wrong, make it right. If they lack of something, then tell. Never tell lies, never hide anything, that's friendship.

It's pretty late and I think I write this with my half consciousness. Well then good night!

Empty

This summer holiday is just too much! So much happiness, laughter, experience, new friends. That's why the title is Empty. When you got happiness too much, then it leaves you, you just an empty shell. 

I've never felt so sad like this before. I thought I already adapted, fit in here, but this loneliness kills me from inside.

In Malang, when I woke up in the morning, there are my mom, my sister, my brother, my cousin, I have someone to talk to. I have something that I can do every morning. Even though it's just go to market, go to gym, at least I have companion. Even in Dubai I have Michelle, she had been my companion every time in Dubai. From morning to another morning. It's nice to have someone to talk to. I have my friends, who always be there when I'm bored. It's like, wherever you are you'll be with somebody who accompanied you.

This just too sad. My plan before at Depok for the first time is to blogged my story this holiday. But too sad to post something that happy.

Now I'm just complaining too much. Hahaha. Face it Mitha, this is your life.

Water of March

That's a song title from Jazz in the City album. I've been playing it about million times, it never bored me.
So why jazz now? 8 pm in my room seems comic time not jazz time (lol).

Tomorrow is my 4th midterm. Time flies, huh? After this I will begin my 3rd year. Welcoming new freshmen. Welcoming the real life. It seems like yesterday when I had my first midterm (at that time I scared to death anyway hahaha).

I'm stuck baby! Baby I'm stuck. I've studying so long but it seems like everyone still much better than me. And the theory about coding, professionalism, just flying above my head with no intention to alight in it. Ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

It gets worst with my low devotion about it, yes I do study five minutes than change to my pad, and minesweeper! Told you and believe: that is the best game ever created! I wonder why people choose PES (yes, I am freak and I don't care lalala).

Yes this game, yes.

Actually my sight now only awake a watt which I can fall asleep anytime. But because this minesweeper I could awake until 3 am  (for me it is a very rare, rare, thing). Everyone who saw always ask 'wow, you can?' 'I thought it just lucky game. Testing how lucky we are" AH YOU MUST TRY AND LEARN IT! It is fun! Anyone can give me the community address? LOL.

Well, pray for me and my midterm. Cum laude! :p

Thee Birthday--The Sequel

Hahaha to be honest I tend to delayed (again) my blogpost but...........okay, let's continue.

The celebration continued on the next day. Because my two-bestfriends can't make it at my birthday we met on the next day.

 Rina special handmade (tab-made). Love youuu xxxxxx

Thank youu Nandut and Rio for the (finally normal) present xxx

Then the last one was with them! The craziest human being I've ever know LOL

 

Ica-Me-Mutiara-Nandra-Asin-Shasha

 

Thank youu for the present Nandra!

Aaaand the last one came from Risya! Thanks for the cupcakes! :**

 

This year birthday was a truly great birthday! I love them  so much, the crazy part, the sweetest part, the freakest part, anything. I was blessed, wasn't I?

Can't wait for the next year!!

Late Event--Thee Birthday

Maybe it's a bit little too late (yeah, a month) for telling this story since I got a...well, much much things need to do first beside blogging. A busy head, remember? LOL.

Okay as all of you know (or don't care actually) I was born in 3rd February which I looove it so much because I can celebrate it in Malang. It is always on holiday, fyi.

This year's 3rd February, I had an event with Aremakara and because of it some of my friends who first want to meet me at home, they can't. Well for me it's a bit disappointment but I got some urgent errands in front of the day, right? Can't do anything.

First greet came from my mom of course, and my brother. Yes of course it wasn't Dina (no offense) haha. A simple greet, and I must go to SMANTI that morning. At lunch we celebrated it! Too bad Rina can't make it.

Yes, mom gave me that huge-super-delicious cake.

 

To be honest that say I didn't expect any surprise from my friends since I have celebrate it with the gank (haha) a day before. Well, they had their own things to do.

 

 They are so busy at 3rd February. Or is it me? Haha

 

 The event  were doing good, and in the afternoon (which I still didn't expect  anything) Aremakara gave me surprise! A cake (which I forgot to take the photo) and THIS:

 

It's a banner. Huge one.

 

So surprised and happy of course! Thank you Aremakara! Especially the Sambel Sedep gang haha love you so much guys. 

 

A little bit later Mutiara, Shasha, and Asin were really came to my house. We did a little celebration while re-memorizing all the super embarrassing stuff back then.

Lotta love and kisses from me for you guys xxx

 

   Yes, this is their present. Hahaha

 

It continued on the night, Asider made appointment to hang out like usual and there, they gave me this:

 

  ASIDER!

 

Which, in the end the cake ended in my face. In my face, at midnight, embarrassed me on the roadside. While Kampes was succeed  to escape. Huf. Yes I have a new family with them! <3 div="">

 

These were my 3rd February. But of course it didn't stop here.Wait for the sequel!

Suasana (nggak) menyenangkan

Bete.

Satu kata.

Padahal minggu ini banyak yang mau ke malang.

Bakal jalan, bakal seneng-seneng.

Nilai menghancurkan semuanya.

Padahal udah niat banget semester ini.

Kenapa sih.

Kenapa.

Bete.