Okay. So this is how the new year started.
I spent few days with few best guys I've ever know and turned out it was great. As I expected, which is at least I'm not stuck at home when year changes. Plus with my grades which are not that bad. Well, I should say 2014 started pretty good, without any shocking or bad news told until...........................this afternoon.
I forget I already mentioned about my internship before or not hahaha (blame my short term memory), but IT WAS CANCELLED. FREAKING TWO DAYS BEFORE THE-SHOULD-BE-MY-FIRST-DAY-WORKING. NICE, WELL PLAYED CORPORATE, WELL-PLAYED.
YES I'M A LIIIIITTLE BIT PISSED OF RIGHT NOW. LIIIIIIIIIIIIIITLE BIT. WHY? OH NOTHING, IT'S JUST BECAUSE OF THE INTERVIEW I MISSED MY HOLIDAY BOTH IN SINGAPORE AND DIENG, I DIDN'T COME BACK TO MALANG ASAP LIKE I ALWAYS DID, AND I WAS HAPPY! A REAL HAPPINESS WHICH I NEVER FELT BEFORE. NICE, RIGHT?
Little bit freaked out and called my mom, and cried. Hahaha that's that, my crybaby-ness.
Okay. I think it's enough to spill my anger to anyone I know and reckoned. I had enough of anger and sad. As usual, everyone just said: semangat. Bukan rezeki. Kok bisa?
I really appreciate those things but really, I am shocked and very very very disappointed towards them. So, I guess I'm sorry for what I did back hours ago which I think not very nice to people which really supported me.
Yeah God, You know what's best. I'm walking on your path and still very thankful towards everything that happened.
Jumat, 03 Januari 2014
Sabtu, 28 Desember 2013
END OF 2013
Well, another almost-one-year-blog-post since the last one. I DID plan to post everything about my Dubai journey, but plan just only planned. Turns out I never really tend to do that. Forgiven.
Years passed, and so 2013. I never had any so-called "New Year Resolution" because I always think: yeah, me at this year is good. Quite good. Acceptable. At least for my self. Really, I am an ambitious person towards my face outside, not for my self pleasure. Resolution comes to me as a legal or better way to put your old self to trash and push it with a new one. I think what we've learned about our bad side a year before sometimes good, at least you know you are a human. When you always try to perfecting your self, kinda makes me creeping out. What are you trying to get after being perfect?
WELL THOSE ARE MY THOUGHT IN FRONT OF MY OWN MIRROR. Fell free to say "you moron", "you doesn't think", whatever as long someone out there think that are true. Yeah that's counted as me.
To sum up this year, can be done only one word: BLESSED.
God always blessed us each time, each place, everything we do, as long as on its right path. I tasted living beneath worldwide youngster. I tasted hosting some guys from another country. I pushed my own limit by taking this semester credit. I went to some places for family holiday. But the best of all is: I AM AN INTERN. How good is that?
Too much things I got this year. And I always try to thank Him, to thank everyone who somehow helps me with this steep world. I won't resist that my achievement so far is helped by another, but, sorry if it seems to be so damn narcissistic, but I do believe most of it also came from my own hard work(s).
That's my friend, is the biggest lesson I studied this year. It's not as simple as: you want, just take it. It's more like: you want, work your ass on it! Never feel enough, never feel satisfied. Envy your friend, learn from them! Working hard is the key!
I hope 2014 also be a blessed year for me, and us all. I guess, if there are new year resolution, I simply said: I want to be thankful as much as today exactly one year for now. Amen.
Years passed, and so 2013. I never had any so-called "New Year Resolution" because I always think: yeah, me at this year is good. Quite good. Acceptable. At least for my self. Really, I am an ambitious person towards my face outside, not for my self pleasure. Resolution comes to me as a legal or better way to put your old self to trash and push it with a new one. I think what we've learned about our bad side a year before sometimes good, at least you know you are a human. When you always try to perfecting your self, kinda makes me creeping out. What are you trying to get after being perfect?
WELL THOSE ARE MY THOUGHT IN FRONT OF MY OWN MIRROR. Fell free to say "you moron", "you doesn't think", whatever as long someone out there think that are true. Yeah that's counted as me.
To sum up this year, can be done only one word: BLESSED.
God always blessed us each time, each place, everything we do, as long as on its right path. I tasted living beneath worldwide youngster. I tasted hosting some guys from another country. I pushed my own limit by taking this semester credit. I went to some places for family holiday. But the best of all is: I AM AN INTERN. How good is that?
Too much things I got this year. And I always try to thank Him, to thank everyone who somehow helps me with this steep world. I won't resist that my achievement so far is helped by another, but, sorry if it seems to be so damn narcissistic, but I do believe most of it also came from my own hard work(s).
That's my friend, is the biggest lesson I studied this year. It's not as simple as: you want, just take it. It's more like: you want, work your ass on it! Never feel enough, never feel satisfied. Envy your friend, learn from them! Working hard is the key!
I hope 2014 also be a blessed year for me, and us all. I guess, if there are new year resolution, I simply said: I want to be thankful as much as today exactly one year for now. Amen.
Kamis, 24 Oktober 2013
Defining Self-Satifaction
One thing I still remember from my precious stories back in Dubai is, how can you live in with an unsatisfied feeling. Until....death comes. Hahaha that's sound terribly scary but, gotta admit that there's true though.
Well, life has been so kind to me these days but I try to never, ever, ever admit it. Or think about it (even now I'm writing it, it's contradictory-- I know). Because if you do it, or just me maybe, I'll feel satisfied. Cannot do anything else beside thinking how graceful things I already got. And for me once again, that's a stupid thing to do.
When I told this to someone, he said this is not a good thing. Beside of my religion principle which enforce us to always feel satisfy all the time, he said it will pressuring me all the time. Yeah that's obvious, but now when I think about it I feel a little bit horrified. Turns out I want to be pressured- whatever it is- whenever, wherever. Can you imagine how hard is that? Like your soul being sucking up with Dementor (yes, currently I begin to re-read again each Harry Potter series novel- thank you for being there, library).
I was a carefree people, yeah for me, I don't care since that's relative to everyone. But now I can't imagine how I'll spend my days off without my task or laptop. When I looked at my friend, they just easily do something fun without any pressure that that's pointless or doesn't have any result. And me- currently feel- I can't do that. I never find myself in coffee shop for my own leisure time like I always do back before, always accompanied by laptop, or pen, or whatsoever related to my college life. Maybe if my soul came out from my body and see my own self, I'll throw out so easily. Well, now gotta realize that each part of myself never connected. How sad is that.
Still, there's a speculation that my current condition is because I just got out from my midterm week (which is also scary because I'm not feel thrilled. You can say maybe happy-- less happy than before). And pile of tasks still waiting to be done. So it enforces me to go this way. I hope holiday come soon and I'll be able to find what joy and leisure time is.
Tanto tiempo!
Well, life has been so kind to me these days but I try to never, ever, ever admit it. Or think about it (even now I'm writing it, it's contradictory-- I know). Because if you do it, or just me maybe, I'll feel satisfied. Cannot do anything else beside thinking how graceful things I already got. And for me once again, that's a stupid thing to do.
When I told this to someone, he said this is not a good thing. Beside of my religion principle which enforce us to always feel satisfy all the time, he said it will pressuring me all the time. Yeah that's obvious, but now when I think about it I feel a little bit horrified. Turns out I want to be pressured- whatever it is- whenever, wherever. Can you imagine how hard is that? Like your soul being sucking up with Dementor (yes, currently I begin to re-read again each Harry Potter series novel- thank you for being there, library).
I was a carefree people, yeah for me, I don't care since that's relative to everyone. But now I can't imagine how I'll spend my days off without my task or laptop. When I looked at my friend, they just easily do something fun without any pressure that that's pointless or doesn't have any result. And me- currently feel- I can't do that. I never find myself in coffee shop for my own leisure time like I always do back before, always accompanied by laptop, or pen, or whatsoever related to my college life. Maybe if my soul came out from my body and see my own self, I'll throw out so easily. Well, now gotta realize that each part of myself never connected. How sad is that.
Still, there's a speculation that my current condition is because I just got out from my midterm week (which is also scary because I'm not feel thrilled. You can say maybe happy-- less happy than before). And pile of tasks still waiting to be done. So it enforces me to go this way. I hope holiday come soon and I'll be able to find what joy and leisure time is.
Tanto tiempo!
Minggu, 08 September 2013
The Other Side
I do believe there is Yin and Yang. There are two sides of coin. There'll be a good time and a bad time. Me in my last post seems so....desperate. Hahaha we need time to adapt tho.
Well, today I got paid off. Simply happy with this event, when our seniors had their graduation. And as a junior, we have this obligation to make such a party for them. This time 2012 is on their role!
It was great! The event, the people, everything seems so right at that moment. We laughed, took MANY pictures, dance, sang, ate, everything. My desperate last week seems already paid off. I know I complained much about my friends lately, but one thing sure I know that they are fun. I can forget about my rigid world for seconds, play like a child, laugh like there aren't any obligation (and yes, tomorrow I will debut as an assistant, 8 am).
I hope this story will bring you up when you're down next time, Mitha. Remember that people around you have their own positive and negative side. Accept it because they are human and your friends! Let it flow, they said. If they wrong, make it right. If they lack of something, then tell. Never tell lies, never hide anything, that's friendship.
It's pretty late and I think I write this with my half consciousness. Well then good night!
Well, today I got paid off. Simply happy with this event, when our seniors had their graduation. And as a junior, we have this obligation to make such a party for them. This time 2012 is on their role!
It was great! The event, the people, everything seems so right at that moment. We laughed, took MANY pictures, dance, sang, ate, everything. My desperate last week seems already paid off. I know I complained much about my friends lately, but one thing sure I know that they are fun. I can forget about my rigid world for seconds, play like a child, laugh like there aren't any obligation (and yes, tomorrow I will debut as an assistant, 8 am).
I hope this story will bring you up when you're down next time, Mitha. Remember that people around you have their own positive and negative side. Accept it because they are human and your friends! Let it flow, they said. If they wrong, make it right. If they lack of something, then tell. Never tell lies, never hide anything, that's friendship.
It's pretty late and I think I write this with my half consciousness. Well then good night!
Sabtu, 31 Agustus 2013
Empty
This summer holiday is just too much! So much happiness, laughter, experience, new friends. That's why the title is Empty. When you got happiness too much, then it leaves you, you just an empty shell.
I've never felt so sad like this before. I thought I already adapted, fit in here, but this loneliness kills me from inside.
In Malang, when I woke up in the morning, there are my mom, my sister, my brother, my cousin, I have someone to talk to. I have something that I can do every morning. Even though it's just go to market, go to gym, at least I have companion. Even in Dubai I have Michelle, she had been my companion every time in Dubai. From morning to another morning. It's nice to have someone to talk to. I have my friends, who always be there when I'm bored. It's like, wherever you are you'll be with somebody who accompanied you.
This just too sad. My plan before at Depok for the first time is to blogged my story this holiday. But too sad to post something that happy.
Now I'm just complaining too much. Hahaha. Face it Mitha, this is your life.
Minggu, 24 Maret 2013
Water of March
So why jazz now? 8 pm in my room seems comic time not jazz time (lol).
Tomorrow is my 4th midterm. Time flies, huh? After this I will begin my 3rd year. Welcoming new freshmen. Welcoming the real life. It seems like yesterday when I had my first midterm (at that time I scared to death anyway hahaha).
I'm stuck baby! Baby I'm stuck. I've studying so long but it seems like everyone still much better than me. And the theory about coding, professionalism, just flying above my head with no intention to alight in it. Ouhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
It gets worst with my low devotion about it, yes I do study five minutes than change to my pad, and minesweeper! Told you and believe: that is the best game ever created! I wonder why people choose PES (yes, I am freak and I don't care lalala).
Yes this game, yes.
Actually my sight now only awake a watt which I can fall asleep anytime. But because this minesweeper I could awake until 3 am (for me it is a very rare, rare, thing). Everyone who saw always ask 'wow, you can?' 'I thought it just lucky game. Testing how lucky we are" AH YOU MUST TRY AND LEARN IT! It is fun! Anyone can give me the community address? LOL.
Well, pray for me and my midterm. Cum laude! :p
Sabtu, 02 Maret 2013
Thee Birthday--The Sequel
Hahaha to be honest I tend to delayed (again) my blogpost but...........okay, let's continue.
The celebration continued on the next day. Because my two-bestfriends can't make it at my birthday we met on the next day.
The celebration continued on the next day. Because my two-bestfriends can't make it at my birthday we met on the next day.
Rina special handmade (tab-made). Love youuu xxxxxx
Thank youu Nandut and Rio for the (finally normal) present xxx
Then the last one was with them! The craziest human being I've ever know LOL
Ica-Me-Mutiara-Nandra-Asin-Shasha
Thank youu for the present Nandra!
Aaaand the last one came from Risya! Thanks for the cupcakes! :**
This year birthday was a truly great birthday! I love them so much, the crazy part, the sweetest part, the freakest part, anything. I was blessed, wasn't I?
Can't wait for the next year!!
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